Where have I been?

I gave up for awhile, only to find a new strength. Still struggling from day to day, but I'm going to make it this time.

I got a wii active for christmas and I have done 3 days so far....boy am I SORE! I absolutely love this game! I feel like it is something that I can and will accomplish!

I started cutting back a little on the day after Christmas. weight: 221.5. Yesterday, was down to 219 and that is from just cutting back a little. I was still being tempted by some cookies laying around so this morning, i threw it all away!
It is so hard, but I know that with the Lord's help, i can do it. My goal is to lose 8 lbs by the end of Jan 2010. I set a weight loss of around 2 lbs a week and i think that is manageable. I'm trying to focus on small changes.

I'll keep you posted on my weight. I checked out Amy's blog and boy does she look amazing! She has lost 34 lbs! Her regimen is different than mine. I want to make small changes and do something that I can stick wtih and make permanent. cutting out sweets entirely is not fair to myself and will set me up to completely fail. I've just got to learn moderation!

What can I say?

I had a TERRIBLE day! It was long, I was bored. We are very slow at work....the economy has now started to affect us and it makes for long days. I ate a very bad lunch and then was still STARVING 2 hours later! I have eaten all afternoon and all evening. I am miserable.

I wonder why we have days like this? Why does hunger hit so hard, so strong? It's just not fair for those of us with food addictions. I mean, we have to eat....we can't just avoid food like an alcoholic avoids alcohol. We have to have food to live.
It is almost 9 pm and i have brushed my teeth, trying to starve off any more chances of polishing down any more Hershey's kisses......

Not so good

I have not done so well the past few days. I thought about stopping my posts for awhile until I can get enough strength and motivation to start over. I keep having set-backs:::business of the christmas rush, not feeling well, etc. But, if I stop posting, I'll stop trying. At least I do have good intentions when I get up....I just fail somewhere in each day.

I WILL DO THIS! It make time some time, and several days/weeks of failure...but I realize that I am beginning this journey at a VERY BAD TIME!

I am scared, lonely, tired, discouraged, but

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.>>Matthew 21:22

I'll keep praying and believing that the LORD will give me strength, HE will help me do this....I've just got to have more patience and more self-control...which at this point---only HE can provide!

Oh MY! What a week!

TERRIBLY DONE!

All I have to say is that today is starting a new week, a new chance.
I did pretty good the first half of Thanksgiving day, but bombs away that evening!...It was downhill from there.....

So....today: walk 20 min (at least) and do some floor exercises
Eat smaller portions
NO CANDY!

I'll let you know tomorrow how successful I was today.

I hope everyone had a fantastic thanksgiving! I sure did. I am so thankful that God gives me second chances! Also, I have a beautiful house, 2 fantastic kids, and a pretty good husband. I also still have both parents who are awesome, good friends, and a job. Thank you GOD for your many blessing!

A New Week!

So, I"m going to go ahead and get it out in the open...I blew it Friday, and Saturday, and Sunday.

But, today is a new day. Going to keep pushing forward and trying again. This is going to be a hard week with Thanksgiving. I am going to do my best on Thanksgiving day to not binge. My plans are to start the day with a 1 mile walk. Then, when we eat, i am going to eat 1 serving of each food...and only 1 serving of dessert. That is going to be a challenge for me as I am so addicted to sweets. I should say I won't eat dessert at all, but I know that is not going to happen.
I hope after this week, I will be able to make it until Christmas on a good, strong diet plan.
I am still struggling with post nasal drip and it is making it hard to drink my water. Water tastes horrible right now, my throat is still icky so I'll admit, i am not drinking enough at all.
I have a call in to my MD right now to see if she can recommend something to help me.

One thing, I've realized, I need to be more focused on prayer. My verse this week says it all:
"If you believe, you will recieve whatever you ask for in prayer" Matthew 21:22.

So, here are my prayer requests:

Strength to overcome my addiction
Strength to exercise
To get over this cold/sinus infection
That I will succeed in my goals and become a positive role model for my children in all ways--physically, mentally, spiritually.
Last, but not least, PATIENCE

Feeling Better

I felt better yesterday and even better today!

I did manage to weight yesterday and i was down 1 lb and 1 inch off my hips and waist. YAY!!!!
and that is just by cutting back and being sick.
Of course, I do feel a little dehydrated and I've got to push more water today now that my throat is not as yucky.

I have to keep telling myself that I CAN DO THIS. I've failed so many times that right now, i feel like it is impossible. I'm doing my best to read Nancy Schuessler and Amy's blogs (Dr. Oz website) to keep my motivation strong and to remind me of why I need to do this!

Frankly, I'm scared of failing yet again, yet I have to do this for my daughter.....I won't to be a good role model for her and I want her to be proud of me.

I ordered one the necklaces that Nancy gave Amy on the Dr. Oz show....I hope this around my neck will be a reminder to me each day!

I got on the treadmill this morning...only did 10 min at a moderate pace because I'm slightly deconditioned and weak from being sick.....got to build back up and I plan to exercise again this evening to at least get to 30 min today.
Tomorrow will be one week since my first weigh in and measurements. I'm hoping that I have a good report, but today is going to be a big challenge. We have a finger food luncheon at work and I've got to work really hard not to eat ALL DAY LONG and to try to make the best options for my plate. Pray for me that I can do this......eat ons at work are never good for a food addict!

"But seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33

Lowest of the Low

I am depressed...still under the weather and trying to recup from that....

But I feel so alone..so unloved...that is what happens when you food is your addiction. It separates you from everyone and everything you love...you get lonely, scared, bitter, frustrated.


I can't begin to tell you how frustrated I am right now. I had big plans for this week, but this cold and now sinus infection has threw me off. I am discouraged.

Going to try to make the best of today and once again, try this process. I'm hoping for a miracle today...to feel better and feel like doing what I need to do.

Lord, please help me!